August 7, 2008

News of the Day: August 7

Posted in News tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 10:40 pm by Katharine Lackey

  • Twenty-six cheerleaders got stuck on an elevator at the University of Texas, the Dallas Morning News reports. The group of 14- to 17-year olds attending the Texas Cheer Camp decided to see how many girls they could squeeze into the elevator. The elevator successful descended from the fourth to first floor, but the doors refused to open. A campus police spokeswoman notes, “There are signs everywhere: No more than 15 people or 3,000 pounds.” … Hmm, I highly doubt 26 cheerleaders weigh 3,000 lbs combined.
  • A man in Utah faces charges after he tried to attack his family with a chainsaw. But the chainsaw didn’t work, so he tried a weedwacker. That wouldn’t start either, so the man tried to run over his wife with a car. She jumped out of the way, a local station reports. EPIC FAIL.
  • The guy who sings in the commercials is a fraud, MSNBC reports in its dumbest story of the year (seriously — why did you write this?)  The guy is not American, isn’t a victim of identity theft and doesn’t actually sing! OMG! No freaking way! (hint: sarcasm) The article also calls the man behind “Dude, Where’s My Car?” and “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” a mastermind. Now, it all makes sense.
  • Another Qantas jet was grounded today, according to Australian news reports. The jet service hasn’t had any planes crash, but is still in FAIL mode.
  • Spelling errors at the university level are getting so bad that professors are being urged not to penalize students for incorrect grammar and spelling, the Telegraph reports. I can has mizpels pls? Kthxbai.

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